Main Scripture Verse
Matthew 6:12–15 (NASB95)
12 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.]’
14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Why would Jesus hone in on forgiveness in the middle of instructing the disciples how to pray? Because Jesus knew that all of us will be challenged in forgiveness!
Forgiveness Definition
Ceasing to feel resentment for wrongs and offenses; pardon, involving restoration of broken relationships. Primarily, forgiveness is an act of God, releasing sinners from judgment and freeing them from the divine penalty of their sin. Since only God is holy, only God can forgive sin (Mk 2:7; Lk 5:21). Forgiveness is also a human act toward one’s neighbor, given new incentive and emphasis in the NT because of God’s forgiveness in the death of Christ. Hence forgiveness is a uniquely Christian doctrine.
The Problems with Unforgiveness
When we can’t pray effectively we can’t communicate with God effectively. Our power is reduced and restricted. This is what the enemy wants. He wants us to live in a sea of hopelessness rather that in the power of the Holy Spirit. He wants us to live in fear rather than in faith. He wants our power reduced and our frustrations amplified.
Sometimes we have to move away from the noise to clear our heads. The noise, if it isn’t pride or lust is often unforgiveness
When we live in unforgiveness we not only miss out on God’s forgiveness and the opportunities for comforting others, we also began to isolate ourselves from our direct line of prayer
2 Corinthians 2:5–8 (NASB95)
5 But if any has caused sorrow, he has caused sorrow not to me, but in some degree—in order not to say too much—to all of you.
6 Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority,
7 so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
8 Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.
“Forgiveness is the medicine that helps to heal broken hearts”
Sometimes people that wrong us don’t even realize they have unless it’s pointed out to them… and when it is they often repent right on the spot.
But when people don’t apologize we immediately consider them enemies. Something inside of us turns off the pain by putting up walls of resistance and protection.
2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NASB95)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Problems we have with forgiveness
I don’t think they’re really sorry yet
What we’re asking is have they truly repented?
How can we tell if someone has a repentant Spirit?
Easy one word answer: fruit – You can tell a tree by the fruit it bears
They need to be punished and I’m the one to do it
Many know the story of Jacob, Esau, and the birthright; but many don’t know the full story about the forgiveness of Esau. We can use this story to parallel what forgiveness can and often looks like no matter what the wrong.
Genesis 25:21–23 (NASB95) Rebekah (wife of Abraham’s son, Isaac gets a word from God
21 Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord answered him and Rebekah his wife conceived.
22 But the children struggled together within her; and she said, “If it is so, why then am I this way?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.
23 The Lord said to her,
“Two nations are in your womb;
And two peoples will be separated from your body;
And one people shall be stronger than the other;
And the older shall serve the younger.”
Genesis 25:30–34 (NASB95) Esau Gives up His Birthright for Food. Rebekah didn’t have to do anything
30 and Esau said to Jacob, “Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.” Therefore his name was called Edom.
31 But Jacob said, “First sell me your birthright.”
32 Esau said, “Behold, I am about to die; so of what use then is the birthright to me?”
33 And Jacob said, “First swear to me”; so he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob.
34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew; and he ate and drank, and rose and went on his way. Thus Esau despised (gave up) his birthright.
Genesis 26:34–35 (NASB95)
34 When Esau was forty years old he married Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite;
35 and they brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah.
Genesis 28:5–9 (NASB95) Esau is mad so mad that he takes wives that His father disapproves of
5 Then Isaac sent Jacob away, and he went to Paddan-aram to Laban, son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau.
6 Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan-aram to take to himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he charged him, saying, “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan,”
7 and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan-aram.
8 So Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac;
9 and Esau went to Ishmael, and married, besides the wives that he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebaioth.
Genesis 32:3–8 (NASB95) Jacob is afraid of Esau
3 Then Jacob sent messengers before him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom.
4 He also commanded them saying, “Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: ‘Thus says your servant Jacob, “I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed until now;
5 I have oxen and donkeys and flocks and male and female servants; and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find favor in your sight.” ’ ”
6 The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau, and furthermore he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”
7 Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed; and he divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and the herds and the camels, into two companies;
8 for he said, “If Esau comes to the one company and attacks it, then the company which is left will escape.”
Genesis 33:1–10 (NASB95)
1 Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids.
2 He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last.
3 But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.
4 Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.
5 He lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, “Who are these with you?” So he said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”
6 Then the maids came near with their children, and they bowed down.
7 Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down.
8 And he said, “What do you mean by all this company which I have met?” And he said, “To find favor in the sight of my lord.”
9 But Esau said, “I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own.”
10 Jacob said, “No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably.
There are two lessons learned here:
- Jacob realized that Esau had forgiven him because he received Jacob favorably. His actions and responses gave Jacob the necessary information to proceed.
- Jacob went humbly before Esau and was ready to receive the consequences whether favorable or not.
Romans 14:9–13 (NASB95)
9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
10 But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.
11 For it is written,
“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me,
And every tongue shall give praise to God.”
12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.
13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.
Why do we fail at forgiveness?
Honestly, we usually think we have to walk the path of forgiveness alone. We don’t. When we have problems we need to consult each other.
Application – How do we keep from failing at our forgiveness
1 John 1:8–10 (NASB95)
8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.
James 5:16 (NASB95)
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
We need to stop deceiving ourselves. We were not designed to live this life alone. We all need to repent from doing that. We confess our sins to God for forgiveness Then we share our sins and improper inclinations with wise people (wise counsel) around us for our healing!
Todd Q. Lynch - God's Music Geek 